Friday, September 02, 2011

Never Married

wonderful day
Photo Credit: Julie Pi (Cherry Pi) ~ Creative Commons

In Jeremiah 16:1-9 God told Jeremiah not to marry and have children and that he could not participate in any wedding celebrations or funerals. How lonely Jeremiah must have been -- to be the bearer of a message no one wanted to hear and then to be forbidden from socializing and from having a family of his own.

After a recent visit to the community where I grew up I read this passage, and it struck a chord with me because I can in a way relate to Jeremiah's pain because at almost 43 years old, I've never been married.  

During my hometown visit, I heard the same question that I have heard now for 20+ years..."You're not married yet". This particular remark over the years has been posed as both a question and a statement, and it is usually followed by either "Well, I don't understand why not" or "You are smart not to have married".

These conversations are awkward and sometimes very painful for me as I try to be nice and polite.  What I really want to say is, but never do is:
"I didn't choose this. This wasn't my plan. I'm not smart because if it was up to me I would be married by now and have children, but that wasn't God's plan."
As I gotten older and possibly wiser, I realize that by preventing me from having been married that God has protected me from things that could have caused me much pain and put me in situations I wasn't prepared for and never meant to handle.

Even though I accept that singleness is the best thing for me (at least for right now) because God wouldn't give me anything less than His best, some days are a real struggle for me.  I don't always like my marital status nor am I always comfortable with it, but I'm learning to accept God's provision and trying to be content.

I don't know what God's answer is to my being married -- if it's a flat out "No" or if it's a "Wait" until the time is right. But in the meantime, I still hope, and I trust the Lord to direct my life in the way He wants it to go.


  1. So true, my sister! God doesn't give us anything less than the BEST! Thanks for honestly opening up with your readers and sharing. I am sure you have blessed and helped many. ~ jen

  2. We don't always understand God's plans. Our children are 48 and 50 and they are both still single. They neither one really wanted to be single this long but it's just the way things worked out. It certainly helps to remember that God is in control and for reasons we don't always understand we believe that all things do work for good for those who love the Lord. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

  3. You have an inspiring attitude! God's ways are mysterious, but always perfect. I love your writing. So glad to become friends with you!

  4. Thank you for this very encouraging post!! I am 34 and still very single. I so agree with you....if it was my 'choice' I wouldn't be single. It really is in the Lord's hands. I am realizing this more and more as I observe the way my sisters and friends have met the men they married...the woman honestly had nothing to do with it....the men just seemed to show up along their path and fall in love with them. Thank you, thank you for sharing. ~~ Many Blessings, alice

  5. Beautiful expression of trust in God's will and plan. Each path has its hardships but they pale in the blessing of being willing to accept God's will. I love your joy inspite of akward moments created by others.

  6. This is a nugget of truth that I needed to hear: God wouldn't give me anything less than His best.

    I'm journeying with you -- finding how to be content in the present, to be satisfied with what and where God has me.

    It is the art of looking up continually.

  7. Pamela makes a great point... "EACH path has its hardships..."
    The grass only seems greener elsewhere. Thank the Lord that HE is always doing the best thing for us.
    Beautiful post; thanks!

  8. Sometimes God does want us to find contentment before He gives us more. Just trusting Him is the biggest and best thing. Hang in there. I'm sorry people can be so insensitive.

  9. I pray that God surrounds you with many wonderful people, single and married, that bring you great joy.





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